幽默小语译粹

非马

*  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

男女永远不会平等，除非女人能顶着个秃头挺着个啤酒肚走在街上而仍觉得自己很性感。

*  Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

每个成功的男人背後是他的女人。每个从成功坠毁的男人背後通常是另一个女人。

*  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

上教堂并不会使你成为一个基督徒，正如站在车房里不会使你成为一部车子一样。

*  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

光跑得比声音快，这就是为什麽有些人看起来很灵光，直到他们张嘴说话。


*  War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

战争并不决定谁対（right为英文双关语：右/対）--只是谁畄下来（left为英文双关语：左/畄）。


*  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

要是我同意你的意见，那我们就两个都错了。


* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

知识是知道蕃茄是一种水果。智慧是不把它放进水果沙拉。


*  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

晚间新闻是那个他们开始道「晚安」，然後告诉你为何它并非如此的地方。


*   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

从一个人那里盗取主意是剽窃。从许多人那里盗取主意是研究。


*  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
汽车站是汽车停歇的地方。火车站是火车停歇的地方。在我桌上，我有一个工作站。


*  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

每次填写申请表，在那个＂紧急时，通知：＂的地方，我总填上＂医生。＂


*  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

金钱买不到快乐，但它的确使苦难好受一些。


* You're never too old to learn something stupid.

你永远不会老得学不会做蠢事。


*   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

为了保证打中目标，先打然後把你打到的任何东西称为目标。


*   Where there's a will, there's relatives.

有遗嘱的地方，就有亲人。

树边上的人

要是我同意你的意见，那我们就两个都错了。

树边上的人

从一个人那里盗取主意是剽窃。从许多人那里盗取主意是研究。

经典啊